Happy New Year! I can't believe it's 2025 already, the past few years have gone by so quickly!! It'll be a big year for me because I'll be graduating high school, and I plan to visit Japan for three weeks in June as a class trip. I'm really nervous about graduating, despite being homeschooled for the most part. I don't feel ready to be an adult still. My resolutions for the new year are small but hopefully manageable, just to try to keep my room cleaner, and prepare for the Japan Trip.

It's been a difficult holiday season for me, so this next paragraph will be a bit depressing, in case you want to skip it. A week before Christmas, I found out that one of my closest online friends was killed in a horrific car accident. I'd noticed her absence from the internet in these past few months, but my last thought was that she could've been dead. It's still terrifying and confusing for me to wrap my head around. She was a great artist and such a kind friend. Her future was so bright, she would've just turned 17 in November. I'd do anything to talk with her again, it hurts so much and the guilt has been eating away at me.

On a positive note, my Christmas was really good! My family got me some new watercolors and a full set of Serial Experiments Lain DVDS. I was really excited. I also got a Raspberry Pi 4!

I really hope that everyone else has been having a good new year, or at least is staying warm and safe! It can be a really lonesome time of the year, but this community helps me to feel less alone. Especially looking through websites of likeminded people, who share similar interests and neurotypes as me. I am sort of socially inept. I feel that the only way to improve is through practice, which I hardly get opportunities to do, making me even more socially inept!!!!! Maybe this year, I can try to make some new friends! I think that would be wonderful. I think I can be a good friend, it just takes me awhile to get warmed up to people, and I'm not very extroverted.

I recently came across my old Bandcamp page from 2013, when I was six and a half years old. My dad is a musician, so he helped me record my first album, although I played all of the instruments and sung it by myself (as you can probably tell! lol). Here is the first two songs from the aforementioned album.

I feel embarrassed about anything I say or do, even online, I just imagine everyone is judging me, or thinks everything I do is stupid. Sometimes I am so distracted by the anxiety of others percieving me that I physically cringe or shudder and I can't even focus in class!!!! It sounds so vain to say because obviously no One is really noticing me...Except sometimes they might...And I bet they just think i am a FREAK

I've just started working on this website again for the first time in a year or more! I've mostly been clearing up what I've already written, fixing my About section and other poorly articulated blurbs around my page. I feel a little bit embarrassed about what I've written on here, but I'd still love to continue filling my website with new ideas. I recently started back on my ADHD medication again, and it helps with my productivity so much. I hadn't finished a drawing in months, but I managed to do so within a week of starting vyvanse again! I also made a Gallery page to display my art, and I changed up my blog page, too! With this blog page, I don't have to make a new file for every individual entry.

As for how I've been, I'm managing the best I can! My physical and mental health is poor, but I set up a therapy appointment for the first time in a few years, so I'm hoping that will go well. I turned eighteen last month, so now I have to set up all of my appointments by myself. (I voted for the first time, too!) I have a lot of appointments, from my dentist and orthodontist, to all of my medical ones. I have hypermobile-Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, which causes a wide array of issues, from chronic pain to neurological problems, that require several different specialists to manage. I have physical therapy occassionally to help strengthen my muscles, especially around my hips, where my joints are the loosest and hurt the worst. Hip replacements and arthritis run in the EDS side of my family, and I'll probably need to get mine replaced when I'm older, too. I'm seeing a gastroenterologist for the first time next week as well, because I've been extremely nauseated every single morning for the past year or so. I woke up at 7am to vomit five or more times this morning, and on days that I don't throw up, I'm still spending the first few hours of my day stuck in bed from the nausea.

I went to a Halloween concert for my birthday. I only really went to see Bejalvin's 100 gecs cover set, the other cover sets were for bands like Limp Bizkit and Korn, which I don't really listen to. Costumes were mandatory, so I went as Fluttershy, and a few people complimented/recognized my costume there, which made me really excited. I made the skirt and wings by myself, with the assistance of my mom. I will attach a photo later on! In Japanese class, my teacher was asking everyone what they were going to be for Halloween, and I was so mortified to say Fluttershy, but surprisingly, my classmates reacted very positively. One girl even asked to see my costume, but I forgot to ever show it to her (oops!) I went trick or treating, too. I've been every single year since I was born, but I'm probably getting a bit old for it by now! Where I live, it's usually super cold on Halloween. Last year, it snowed!

I hope everyone has been having a good year! I am feeling super excited to continue adding to my website again